Will you go back with your ex gf?

Before u on with her, every1 else ask you not to be so stupid.. she's just a prettyface.. rotten inside 1.. so fragile sumore.. she'll control your everymove everything also have to get her permission.. She is the special one.. she doesn't like you mixing with other friends.. u can only mix with her friends...she forces you to use iTunes..can't even use wmp... what a gf.. once u want to send picture via bluetooth to another girl, she doesn't allow!!! only can bluetooth with her!!!

But still... you love her so so much.. the moment you see her, u fell in love with her instantly.. she's so so pretty.. you have not seen any other girl as pretty as her...

Her skin is so smooth.. u like to swipe swipe her skin... She responded to you as if she can read your mind.. and she is so 'friendly' too.. so easy to get along with.. even your 3 year old nephew likes her...

U became blinded by love...you want to be with her 24/7.. u became addicted to her.. you can spend hours with her just doing nothing... its so nice to take her out just to see her..see what she has to say... even when she doesn't ask you to... you want to explore every part of her.. you want to buy everything for her.. clothes, jewelleries, whatever in the market thats compatible with her... Few times she fell while walking, you were so so saddd.. you even bought her protective clothing.. don't want her to scratch her prettyface...everything you do you think of her, think for her..

Soon you are so used to her that you can tolerate all her weakness... all the crap... you think that you are gona be with her forever... even if she changed for better or worse, u r gona stick to her forever.. you can't imagine yourself downgrading yourself to other ugly girls with 'black' skin and lots of pimples on the face...skk.skk..

But one day... she just gone missing... missing without a word.. a week b4 valentines day...you are convinced that some other guy had stolen her from you... arghhh... your heart was crushed..how come? why now?? you have it all planned for valentines..cant she just wait till after that?? whyyyyyyy??? you have so many other problems.. the last you want is your gf to dump you... You can't eat.. you can't sleep... you can't do anything without seeing her... you keep seeing her things around you... her hairdryer, her usb cable, her clothes, her battery charger... all kenot use liaoo...

When you are with friends, you are fine.. but when they are not around, you think of her again... (reeli dono wad to do while waiting for fren lei.. normally keluarkan iphone 1..grrr end up pandang ceiling...) you don't know how dependent you are on her until u lost her... damnn.. I still miss herr!!! miss her calculating skills, miss her voice... still kept a foto of her in my wallet:
Once, you met her on the streets, you felt like you fell in love with her all over again... then you saw another guy holding her hands.. swiping her.. you got so jealousss.. she's not yours anymoreee...arrrrrrr... its time to let go...

After awhile, comes another girl...cute and exciting... not as pretty as ur ex-gf, but steady.. she let you do whatever you want, as long as you are happy... she doesn't tie you down to her.. she's so understanding.. so nice.. everything about her is good.. you so far din find any weakness yet... but still.. have you gotten over your ex-gf? you are not sure.. is she the rebound gf???

You hear from a friend that she has broken up with that guy and might be back in 2 months time... but you have just started to fall for this new girl... is looks really that important? will you dump her and wait for your ex-gf to come back? but afterall, she was the one who left you in the first place..isit worth it?

Sometimes in life, it doesn't matter how much you love a person.. being with it once is enough.. why not give yourself a chance, try stg new.. stg exciting rather than go back to the same old gf.. so many 'SMART' and pretty girls out there...for what you know, u might learn to love your new gf more.. your new gf might not be as pretty, but I am sure she has good character.. and cheaper to maintain..haha.. noneed to wait wait.. tarik harga tarik harga..

After much considering, I've decided today to on with the new girl... so I went and look for her everywhere... but can't find her!!! (babi.. all kedai out of stock... for 3 pay as you go.. orange network ada but got branding.. voda also no stock.. cpw mahals.. arghhh)...

Am I too late? did she on with some1 else already??

Finally I found her!! standing infront of the church... hehe..but its her friend's wedding..not hers... so I told her I love her.. and I want to make her mineee...

and she is now MINEEEEE!!!!!!! My Desire tercinta...

If only choosing gf like choosing hp.. if i tak suka can still jual and beli iphone..hahaa.. sakit is wallet, not hati...

I'll stand by you

For my fellow friends who are having a hard time:

An example of a bad day...

You just know its not a good day when u wake up in the morning with a bad headache..

When your eyes are watery and can barely open.. my eyes dah la 30% smaller than the normal population... Trying to fit a contact lens in is almost impossible.. This resorts me to wearing glasses, which i know will make me dizzy in 30 minutes time, especially if i walk on the streets.. + headache+ walking 50 mins to clinic = not good...

Timetable says : PN SH 8.30 am... apatu??? oh, practice nurse, sarah something...

As soon as I entered her room, although i super attacked by gelombang mengantuk (even after 2 caffeine tablets), i try to kasi her a biggest smile and good morning.. she balas with a 10% smile and 10% of a normal warm greeting that ang moh alwiz give.. n ask me go minum kopi cos she got stuff to do..

Sit in first patient : had to take 3 tubes of blood... ok, first 2nd tube ok..after third tube, as i pulled out, he start to bleed..ohh patient is on warfarin... great.. nurse tried to help compress, i try to reach for sharps bin.. dono how ter-cucuk her abit... GREATTT... the famous Needle- stick-injury..

huhuhu...sorii.. but muka masam campur masam.. ask me to type in what I did..
afterthat ask me go for kopi again.. I went this time..haha...

2 mins later, I walk on the hallway, ppl all look at me 1 kind 1... then another nurse came n say my tutor will take me this morning.. huhuhu..

Went in, sat with my tutor, haih, alot of questions i cant answer lo.. at least not in the way that he is thinking of.. I tot mayb he is not gona mention about the needle stick injury liao..but can never escape 1 la..

Towards the end kena abit of lecturing... haih, dono what to say.. the same same

'what is ur main problem?'

'y cant answer question?'

'y when sit in with other consultant also cant answer..'

I DID answer waddd!!!

' when I ask you to take a full history n gave u time, u seems to be doing it well, but why when u r sitting in its as if you don't know anything??'

and of course the : 'LANGUAGE PROBLEM'..

n then he say but speaking to you i don't think you have.. errr...apanii

THe problem is i dont know what my problem is.. Till this morning I still think I did quite well.. of course I could't think as good as u think..

U have been doing this for 30 years.. as soon as the patient walk in u know if they got tahi stuck in their rectum onot.. But i dont know 1 ma.. 3 patients with same symptoms, u kasi all 3 different management.. I dint develop that kind of judgement skills yet what..

2 patient with rigors 1 u kasi antibiotics 1 u do tests first..apanii..

Cough kasi sputum culture u say primary setting not effective.. then lecture me cos i cant tell u do chest x-ray.. buuutt so many patients come in u dint refer for chest xray alsoo.. I ask y, u say cos u dono what is wrong with him n u r worried.. but err the other patients also u dono wad is wrong wadd.. just that the level of the 'dono wad is wrongness' is higher in this patient?? n kan me for not saying ESR.. what can ESR tell u??? that stg is wrong??? but we already know something is wrong somewhere..

Haih, yah, I am just PLAIN stupid.. or mayb because of the needle stick i cucuk a hole already, then they start to dig in deeper n deeper...

Mid Autumn Moon

I din even realise it is mid-autumn festival again until some1 tole me the moon is so round today..

And funnily, i alwiz tot that Mis-autumn festival is the way ang moh call Mooncake festival.. Never crossed my mind that the 'Zhong qiu jie' that i know actually means mid-autumn.. haha..

When I was young, Zhong qiu jie super happy 1, cos can play tanglung.. not those fancy got dragon got snake use battery 1 la..

- the 20 sen for 1 small 1 use lilin 1.. dono wads so fun about that..haha..

Then after the tang lung period over, is the moon cake craze time.. soo happy getto eat mooncake.. even up to last 2 years I still tried to make mooncake here.. but i think this year moocake doesn't impress me anymore.. I guess thats the end of that era..

The new era: I somehow feel impressed by the beautiful moon..haha. Feel like berpantun pula:

暮雲收盡溢清寒。
Mu yun shou jin yi qing han.
Sunset's clouds gather together, flowing pure and cool

银汉无声转玉盘。
Yin Han wu sheng zhuan Yu Pan.
The Milky Way, making no sound, circles the Jade Dish (the moon).

此生此夜不长好。
Ci sheng ci ye bu chang hao
This life, this evening: it cannot always be so good.

明月明年何处看？
Ming yue ming nian he chu kan?
The bright moon: next year, from what place will I see it?

Badluck come in chunks?

NO EXCEPTIONS

NO EXCUSES

NO ESCAPE

Thats what they say..

Yamaha was left there for quite some time oredi, cos tayar pancit and kenot start...road tax recently expired sumore...

n WE JUST DIN BOTHER...although it is technically not mine, but legally is still mine... so feel bazir alsoo...

Last week as i walk pass I saw some clamping lori near that area already... discussed with the owner of the scooter about the prognosis of the scooter...

Problem list:
1) kenot start
2) tayar pancit
3) no road tax, no insurance, no MOT...
4) have to find buyer

Management Plan:

Immediate management:

1) Remove the bike from road first, cos no road tax...

Further management:

1) Settle the battery to start first

2) Then take to kedai see how much can trade-in..

3) If not try listing on Gumtree...


After that conversation, I went to DVLA website to declare SORN (off-road).. Then, went to research how to sell and fill in quote forms, etc online...

BUT...

Din bother bout the immediate management..din remove it off-roadd!!!

Its like managing a patient with heart attack.. kasi medication for hypertension, kasi advice on liefstyle change... BUT forgottn about the oxygen, the CPR... n patient now brain damaged due to lack of oxygen and paralysed...


Huhuhu...the scooter owner decided to Unplug the ventilator.. euthanasia... huhuhuhuhuhu.. Shall I save it? is it worth it? Could there be better treatment in the future if i try n prolong its life?

Tomoro 12pm if i dont decide to save it, it will be taken away to palliative care for 7 days and wait to die..

1 scooter... 1 life.. should I save it?

sob sob..

BYE BYE Yamaha...Forever... R.I.P

The Series of unfortunate event Again!!

Conclusion : Now safely on the train...

1 month ago...

Bot ticket to go Manc today...
Me,Helen n Peilian have this birthday tradition to visit each other for their birthday..

Guess what, Peilians bday!!!

Birthday need bday present rite... ( will tok bout this later..cos din give her yet)

then...

1 week ago...
Due to exam sienness, tot I'll make some kuih bring to manc la..

Plan: thursday study no time...friday morning exam, (take day ticket paling berbaloi liao), 1pm take bus to hingsing buy banana leaves n pandan..drop by collect missed parcel (maximise day tix) reach home 2.30 make kuih till 5.30 (sambil pack),mandi and leave around 6 for train at 6 stg (dono exactly wad time,lazy check)..ok set!

Actual: Thursday 10am - 10pm..makan,tido,dota,td... study- < 5%... go hingsing some stuff no stock can't get all bahan..go royal mail depot,oredi tukar place! cis.. yesterday found out 2.30 pm got lecture actualy..attend? no?

I somehow sense stg very not right oredi..better make a simpler kuih n save some time to pack..later miss train susah.. the whole journey think wad to make..

Manatau..check ticket time: 16:11... aiyaaaaa..16 is not 6 oclk laa.. so abort kuih mission..sori kawan sekalian yang dipromise kuih..

Instant pack n ran although still early... (since I sense stg not right..) sampai train station, cieh..3.50pm..still got 26 minutes la.. go lepak beli snacks..oredi at train station wad can happen rite..

Kausai..after beli see watch 4.08..train 4.16 stil got 8 mins..slowly jalan lo...

(brain undergo thinking process)

Kausai!!! it's 16:11 not 4.16 pm..arghhhhh

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??

GUSHhhHh.. signboard platform 9 turn right..ok.. ran down stairs.. WRoNG Turninggg!!! shit shit.. ppl rreeli gona laff at me if I miss train like this mann...

Ran up again..( with my bag n badminton racquet sticking out...)

yess..finally sampai..train damn damn damn packed.. and got tanda- tanda its gona move soon..don't care squeeze in first..

click...sound of door shut behind me...

Time to blog...

At this instant my racquet just drop on my head...arghhhh..

Syndrome of kehabisan luck after exam..hopefully I pass at least...



-- Post From My iPhone

Geriatrics a.k.a...Study of theAncient

Study of the Ancient (S.O.T.A) ...

4 weeks of geriatrics medicine... what did I gain?

apart from weight;

1) Fear of getting old..

Nothing much I can do about that rite.. luckily i alwiz look younger than i am.. now i dont mind ppl thinking that I am a 'Fresher'..

2) Fear of getting old and sick...

From now onwards, I wana start a healthy lifestyle.. Eat vitamins, minerals, n calcium!! after 35 yrs old ur body start to lose bone liao.. If i am gona get old anyway, better get old healthy.. Plus exercise 3x a week...

3) Fear of my parents getting older..

I see the old ppl in my wards, so depressing.. no family, no frens.. remind me of my parents back home.. I normally dont have the habit of calling home often 1.. but in 4 weeks, i called home 4 times..

4) Fear of getting bored when old...

What to do when I am old? I see them reeli no activity 1.. everyday wake up sit, then eat, then sit, then watch tele (if they are not too demented to understand)... nobody visit, dont go out..
1 word... scaryy...
2 words.. very scaryyyy.

I have to start physio on my fingers.. so that I can maintain my dexterity to play D.O.T.A when I get old.. But ofcourse there are some patient that I reeli wana be like them..97 years old still fit n healthy..

One of the patient told my consultant:

' One day it'll be your turn...'

P.S: For any1 that reads this post, take about 30 seconds n think of your dear parents at home... call them if u have not for a long time.. (not every1 like me i guess)..

Why do I have to lie?

Why can't I be myself when I am with them? Why can't I just tell them how i really feel?

Is it because i am afraid that they won't understand? or I just KNOW they won't understand?

I was asked if I am gona go back to msia or stay here after I grad. The answer is I want to go back home!!.. Normally i would just say not decided.. or might go back, might stay...

But today, my 'not sure' as answer already over the allowed quota.. so i had to give an answer...

Y did I not tell the truth? Y did i feel that somehow I am gona be taught less if i say i am gona go back home after I grad?

Y can't I just say I am just here to 'steal some knowledge, and then go home to serve?'

I dont know.. I can lie all I want..

Nobody will know anyway... even when ppl ask me what did i do yesterday, 80% of the time i just made it up.. cos either i couldn't remember(partly due to my early onset dementia), or couldn't bother remembering, cos I know they ask just for the sake of asking..

A friend of mine describe them as GOLD FISH.. One moment ever so friendly, the next moment, short term memory loss, pretend that they dont even know u..

I am like a chicken amongst a thousand ducks.. unless i quack, they wont understand me..
but do I need to quack?

NO I DONT!!..

Early Onset dementia?

I began to suspect I have early onset dementia on top of my partial down's + turner's syndrome and the recent sciatica.. Could I have had a stroke that only affect a dot in my memory area? Y is it getting worse lately? I think it has been deteriorating for few years now, but recently i started to notice the significance.

One moment i think of something, the next moment i will forget.. The other day, i even forget the way back to my own flat. I was walking n walking n went to open the door to the next block..n the worst is it happened TWICE in a DAY!!!

I kept forgetting where i put things, n forgetting things that I used to remember.. si liao..di I really have dementiaa??

I am afraid to do the abbreviated mental test now..cos I am sure I cant remember the (apple, table, penny) or the address that they want you to remember and repeat..

I just realised the previous post i clicked publish, forgetting that I did not type yet..grrr..

Early Onset dementia?

Medical Student

I have been a part time medical student for 4 years now..

Full time slacker ... part time DOTA player ... part time journalist for flowermonster.blogspot.com ... part time Serial Killer (watch series to kill time) ...

So my medical student life is only 1/4 of the part time nia ... I think its time for me to be a 'Full Time Medical Student' now ...

Kinda scary when u can't define chronic liver failure, when u dont know what actually causes hypertension ... dont even talk about the treatment... These are those things that I think i know...

Liver failure mah liver fail to work lo... but first have to know what exactly does the liver do rite... Chronic Liver Failure and Chronic Liver Disease.. different 1 mehhh...

Hypertension is..er...high blood pressure lo... stroke... in mandarin 'jong fong'.. in tvb drama also got show.. but if really some1 stroke infront of me, wah... dono how to handle liao...

hehe..sumore now in dunfermline, hard 2 blog abit la.. oredi taken lots of photos since my Greece trip dengan impian to blog 1..but then..hmm.. only my camera lense saw those pictures.. even my computer din't see them yet..haha..

ok la.. part time blogger now.. times up.. back to my Full Time job..haha

Maybe i should quit blogging

Haih,, I am a failed blogger..

From London to Greece to Manchester to Preston to Edinburgh.. I have so much to blog about..but then..

now oredi 3 weeks post-trip... pictures all still in the camera..

failed..failed..

now posted to Dumb - fermline.. lagi la..no internet, no computer..

oni have iphone..

how to blog..

I better quit blogging..

Final... meow...

Oscar, more known as meow meow to me... cos I never lived with a cat b4, so he shall be "The Meow Meow"...
He's gone to another family for good..

No more worrying about leaving kitchen door opened..

No more worrying of not sumbat-ing my door with paper (cos he IS smart, he noes dat my door just need to push 2 open n not jenn's 1)

No more worrying about leaving cups around incase he spills it..

No more "meow's at night..

No more having to wake up at night to shoo him off the bed...

No more dreams about cats strangling me..

No more smell of cat urine at home...

No more cute fur ball waiting for me to come back...

No more manja-ing with me on my chair... he likes 2 cuddle close 2 me when i'm watching movie..

Yes, as Jenn said, going into the kitchen now seems weird..

He'll alwiz sits outside the kitchen looking innocently...

First thing I do after enter the flat: find where the Meow Meow is.. now? it won't be anywhere...

Does the flat seems quieter now?

I knew he was going, just din expect to be so soon.. the new owner came 2 collect him.huhu, glad that i played with him the last time b4 he leaves..

Haih, shud have let him sleep with me yesterday..

Shud have let him eat some salmon yesterday..

See how we alwiz take things for granted.. alwiz only treasure things when they're gone..

I'm sure he's gone to a better home...

Dono if he misses me too...

Bye Meow Meow...

Meow

Maybe i shud become a non-animal lover.. If taking care of pet is only 10% of taking care of baby, whoa...I dont want to beranak liaoo..

I tot cats not supposed 2 need attention 1.. If only i noe what he is thinking, then he wun meow all the time..just like baby cry all the time, dont know what they want..

U want food? give food, u wana play? err..abit abit la.. 1 moment so manja, 1 moment try 2 scratch.. haih, but cant blame him, kesian also become cat..

Imagine just sitting at home, sleep and eat..then waiting for ur master to come back and play with you.. sometimes i see he so kesian, play with him awhile, but NOO.. at night noneed sleep oredi.. he'll expect more..he wants to sit on your chair, he wants to sleep on your bed, he wants to eat your food, he wants to spill your water..

Cant imagine takng care of baby..from my experience of babysitting, out of 5 hours, have to give 4 hours 55 mins of attention.. 24 hours? dont wana imagine..cant sleep, go toilet also jaga-jaga, cant even leave them out of sight..hmm..

Meow.. I sometimes see him looking out the window..he wants to go out ka?

Meow

Sad + shocking wake-up news

Heaven must be a better place now..

they have just recruited a great person..

so unfair, they alwiz get the good guys..

although i don't know him well enough,

but enough for me to know he's a great man..

enough to make us thousands of miles away to cry...

a picture that I din even get to post on facebook..yet..

will miss u, Marcus

http://markusng.memory-of.com/About.aspx

Pasrah

Haih... based on my new mission of wanting to do good, i try 2 act smart la..
Basically i help dis fella do stg, but not appreciated.. sumore go make such a big deal out of it...

Argh.. my english not that good, so cant fight back also..ARGHH...
damn damn geram.. small matter only wad.. make such a big fuss.. ppl help u dy, thank you also din say, scold me back pula.. (din reeli scold la, but still her tone like i just killed her dog lidat)

i oredi say sorry liao (although i am trying to help u) n oredi give you the solution, help u do sumore.. wad la..what else u want!!!

kiasu kiasi bo steady!!! so so geram... GESND!!! argh argh argh argh argh..slap slap kick kick kick..

okla, finish ranting liao, puas abit..

anyway,
went for my practice osce today..haih, I finally understand how those dumb fella or those who have speech problem feel.. Its like u can picture in your mind, u know what u want to say, but just cant put it in words.. U let me speak in hokkien la..kasi u all tapau.. or speak in my english at least...

ish ish ish..study la..too distracted liao, hard 2 concentrate..
i tipu, i abit also tak puas..tak puas..wana take her, squeeze her, n make her understand...
buuuuuuuuuuu

The Mad Dog

I was sitting in my room, trying to squeeze some information into my compact and immobile brain. As usual, my attention wandered to a bunch of teenagers with their "cool" Adidas tracksuit having a session of kick-abouts in the carpark. Just at that moment, a little brown dog appeared from the bushes, wagging its golden brown tail. It caught a "fat boy wearing a shirt that is obviously too small for him" 's attention and the whole group started to corner the poor dog..

Wow, the carpark suddenly turned into a science lab... They started splashing water at it, waiting for it to form a reaction. Nothing happened..the dog continued wagging its tail.. Big mistake..more is to come..from water to the bottle, stones, n finally their feet.. arghh...

Leaving my "Obs and Gyne" book behind, I went down to"save" it. I just claimed that its mine, gave a smile and walked away.. Feuh... I was relieved.. Back in my room, holding the dong, I didn't know what to do with it.. I noticed some injury marks on his body and some old bruises..

"what a poor dog"..

its wearing an old rusty chain on its neck which I'm surprised did not strangle him. The owner's name was smeared and faded... hmm.. I decided to keep the dog...

That was the best decision I've ever made... This little creature that I named "Wo Wo " is a great great great companion.. He's fun, energetic, cute, playful, loving, loyal.. everything you wud want in a dog.. From the moment I opened my eyes in the morning, he'll alwiz be there to great me, inviting me to play, running about in the room, I just loved him... with him around, I alwiz start the day with a smile..However, no matter how happy we played, I can almost alwiz notice a glimpse of sadness in WoWo's eyes.. there are times that he would be standing at the corner of the room, circling in a world of its own...

One day, after my "Obs and Gyne" exams, I went home anticipating my little friend to greet me at the doorsteps... "Hmm.. thats weird..." nothing came and I've never seen it again since.. it must have gone back to his owner...

Wo Wo

6 Years ago, he was adopted from SPCA by his master. WoWo had to leave his friends in SPCA to a new place so foreign and new to him.. but as time passed, he's quick to get used to the new environment, only because his master was nice to him.. His new master, only 12 years old at that time was patient in training him, played with him, gave him full attention, cared for him. They both had a great time running in the woods, playing in the field, going to places that only both of them knew, doing things that he'll only do with WoWo around .. He soon treated WoWo like part of his family.. in fact, WoWo was his best friend...They would eat, sleep, play and do everything together.. He even tried to sneak WoWo in his school bag to school just to spend more time with WoWo..

As years passed, WoWo started to expect to play more with his master, since they were both such great companions for each other.. However, as his master grew older, things start to change.. He met new friends in high school, got himself a few girlfriends, started to stayed out late at night drinking with his new clicks... WoWo waited patiently at home for his master to come back everynight.. but he sometimes never did.. Even if he's back, he would start throwing liquor bottles at WoWo, hitting and pinching WoWo, or even throw him out of the house leaving WoWo alone out in the cold...

Poor WoWo still sees him as the loving and caring master he used to be... everytime he got thrown out, he'll wait patiently as the next morning when his master is sober, he'll pick him up again n played with him for a few moment before he's off to school again.. everyday WoWo will be waiting with hopefull eyes that someday his master will bring him to school again, just like before...but no, nomore having WoWo in his bag, nomore showing him off to his friends at school and be proud of him.. Instead, he's now embarrassed to show his tiny dog around compared to those huge dogs that the "cool-gangs" have..

WoWo soon realised that his old master will never come back..

Its alright, as long as he pats WoWo's head every morning, that was enough for WoWo to know that his master still cares.. even if he hits WoWo at night, its alright, he's just drunk..the next morning he'll still pat WoWo's head.. He's afterall just a dog.. Its just that WoWo was given hope in the beginning that he's actually part of the family.. he just have to accept it now and do what a dog is supposed to do...

What happened to WoWo afterthat was not documented... No-one knows what happened that made WoWo came to me...

6 month later..

I've almost completely forgotten about WoWo when I saw this street performance on Royal Mile.. I went across, and it was not a street performance after all. It was a familiar creature that I once loved.. Wo Wo.. but it looks different now.. His fur is not golden brown anymore.. he's now got patches of uneven fur with mud and dirt on it.. the scarce fur left is stucked together by tint of blood stains.. I cant help but to shout to him...

"WoWo!!"

When I called him, he started to move... but no longer running joyfully towards me.. he hopped on his three legs and barked angrily at the crowd, showed his teeth and raged at everyone... He can't even recognise me anymore.. I soon realised that this is not the friendly and lively WoWo that I used to know.. My visions starts to get blur from accumulating tears.. WoWo has gone mad..

I just turned and walked away..

adapted and modified from one of the SPM 101 English Essay

Heard

I have been having these bad mood swings... isit because my body is producing too mych progesterone?

I was nicely chatting with a fren on msn...the next minute, i feel like going out for a walk, n do some shopping, since i've not been in edinburgh much..I got dressed n walked out...

The journey back from Princes street starts to get longer n longer... I start to look around n sudenly felt so blank... I dont know any1 there on the streets... a mixed feeling of fear, sadness, n loneliness...that sort of mood swing hit me again..

This is when all the negative thoughts start to hit me at the same time.. life, studies, friends, family..nothing seems positive at that time...

I started to look down, feeling down as well... If i just disappear at this moment, how long will it take b4 some1 notices? If I die now, how many ppl will cry for me? haha, i know its stupid, but all this thoughts just came banging to my head.. (I'll probably laugh at myself tomorrow if i read this again).

Just at this moment, a guy called me from behind.. (with suara gagap):

" Miss.. i just passed by and and I saw you.. I just wonder if if if you would like to go for a movie with with me? I I.. just think you look really nice.."

I din't know what to do but to back away a little n shook my head..

"Its alright if you dont want...I have written down my num-number, call call me if u feel like going for a mo-movie..I'll pay for everything..."

I took that ugly looking piece of cardboard that looks like it has been in his pocket for 2 years.. just so that he'll leave me alone..

he walked away afterthat..feuh... as i continued my journey, i look up n smile.. I somehow feel he must sent by God to make me happy.. n to tell me life is not that bad after all..

thx, whoever he is... my mood swings are definitely over now...

p/s: part of the story might be exaggerated for readers interest.

I Just Want To Learn!!

Don't you just hate it when things don't go your way?

For once in 3 years,I reeli want to learn stg that I 'm interested in.. I tried to be keen just for once..

How often do you see me walking about with a book in hand?

How often do you see me turning up 10 mins early just to find out that the tutorial is canceled?

How often do you see me going to hosp at 7.50am and leave at 6pm? That's no it..I even went back again at 9pm..

How often do u see me coming in on the day I'm supposed to be sleeping at home?

Y isit that when I am keen 2 learn I'm not getting any teaching? am I expecting too much?

Y isit that on my labour ward day there is not even 1 delivery? N when I was off for 30 mins lunch a lady just came in n delivered!!! How often do you deliver in 30 mins?

Y isit that when I asked there is none, the next minute my groupmate says there's 5 rooms with deliveries?? Arghhh frust..

N when I finally get 1, she gave birth too quick, I din get to do it.. n the staffs..haiz,don't want to mention..it's hard not being in ur own comfort zone..

Argh..I'm gona go home n sleep ..

I give up.. I'm not gona b keen anymore..I get ntg out if it.. It's not healthy 2 try too hard sometimes.. Or to be someone ure not.. Back to my old self,stay at home without feeling guilty..cos I tried,reeli did..



Posted with LifeCast

Is it a good thing to be able to focus?

Don't you think sometimes if you focus too much on something u'll end up lose focus on other things around you?

Its just like a camera. If you zoom in too much, U can't get the whole picture.

If you focus on 1 object like a flower, the rest of the picture becomes blur. However, it is artistic in a way if you get it right..

What if the wind starts to blow n the flower moves? Then u'll lose focus of the flower n now your whole picture becomes blur n worthless.


Is it worth the risk? Can't you just take a picture of everything in it n not focus too much?

So what if the picture is worthless? Why not take another 1? How much memory have we got?

If only life is like a camera.
You can focus on 1 object at 1 moment, n zoom out whenever you want.

Or if we could just delete our memory and retake again without any impact.

Or just get a 2 Gb memory card, fit all in without deleting.

If only we have so many chances to take n retake n retake the picture till perfect. People normally just take once, if not nice, 2nd try, if not nice, suak liao..

How many ppl are willing to spend whole day at 1 spot to take picture till perfect? If so, which spot to choose? How to judge which spot is worth taking?

Haih, I guess we human brain are not as high-tech as digital camera. We're still on films. Every snap you take counts. Cant be deleted.

Dat's y we r more careful about taking shots. Cause u know you have limited films.

Haih, i want to be digital camera... then can store all the knowledge in, can view anytime.. Unlike old camera, u sometimes forget what you have taken till u develope them..