Officially...

yeai...officially in the government service...

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Going to kota kinabalu...

Wow..although i applied for kk for my posting, and am glad that i got my first choice, but still...

I Am really goin to kk!!!!!
How will my first day be? just take my luggage n land there..n then what? where to stay? how to go about? what to do?

work?? as what?? doctor??
our induction facilitator taught us that we have to report with pride..we are doctors now.. Nomattee what others say...

But...

No wayyy...

Starting from nx week, everything is so blur..haha... Dont know what to expect.. New environment,new frens... At least a fren succeeded in her appeal n is coming with me...

Finished our induction today...so much to settle.. Had to book my flight in 2 days time..had to do my laundry.. Had to dry them..had to send my car to portklang tomoro to ship at 9am!! then not sure to come back to mlk ot stay in kl to fly on sunday... N report to work on monday....

Running out of time!!!

wish me luck...

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Kuching revisited

Current location: Jalan Lapangan Terbang, Kuching...

Due to keboringan and ajakan rakan, I am now back in Kuching after 5 yrs.. Ppl might ask, Kuching is so small. y do i need to visit twice..haha.. herm.. now i see the difference..

5 years flashback:

Started with cat museum, ... cant reeli remember the order.. but got Fairy Cave, Wind Cave, Semenggok, Serian (dibawah jagaan eli), Damai (their kononnya popular beach resort), n ultimately conquered the gunung satubong...

Current visit:
The agenda is totally different... buffet, karaoke, in 5 days, we visited Spring 3 times.. or more.. erm.. spring is their yeah shoping complex.. not hotspring.. n watched 2 movies..
Kekeke.. Kuching is quite different from what I remembered... actualy i cant remember much..hahaa..

see how ppl change.. I guess last time we were more outdoor.. but now.. we r more for luxury n comfort.. But we did visit the Jong Crocodile Farm.. n see dancng crocodile..something new..

Now off to waterfall...

to be continued..

but dont think will be continued.. cos arghhh... i got my induction on monday!!!

looks like this is the last trip b4 working life.. haizzz...SIENNNNNNNN

The art of adapting

The law of nature...only the strong will survive, the weaker ones will disesarkan... I think what we need most is the art of adapting.. Once u learn to adapt,u can survive in wadever situation...
Bak kata pepatah,

'masuk kandang kambing mengembek,masuk kandang lembu menge-moo...'

I now understand this theory.. Day by day living with 2 retirees..i began to sink into their lifestyles... In fact actualy look forward to it.. I stil continue my morning jog lifestyle.. Cos im used to it liao.. Jus today i join a group of apek run... Whoa..dun look down on apeks..they super geng one.. A group where their average age is 50.. N me..haha..

I now start to watch the xin wen bao gao kan (news) that my dad watches.. N slowly slowly begin to like watchin the stupid 9.30pm drama that my mum watch... Dono when i start to be curious n wana noe more about the drama..hahaa...

Well..this is how time can change people... But im still glad to know that this is just temporary...

Seeing how old ppl can be sien, i think i need to find more hobbies that i enjoy doing after i retire.. Right now im so inspired by the apeks to run marathon..hahaa..or at least half marathon la..hehe..

Youngsters..better plan now b4 its too late.. U dun wana work ur whole life n one day when u retire,u get lost n dono wad to do...

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Life of a retiree

Before this i was complaining about busy working life... Now...

Life of a retiree...

Every morning... Wakeup whenever u wana wake up.. Say only sounds so nice..but when u really can wake up whenever,u end up waking up early...

Activity harian...
6.30am Folo parents to bukit serindit, the land of retiree...(a taman in melaka where alot of old ppl go n aerobics,jogging,qigong,dance...etc in the morning) followed by breakfast at 8.30am...

Then do their routine go tesco or pasar ( that is where i got ask siao mei, din go school ar? grr..wont forget )... Reach home at 10.00am.. Ngam ngam uk 3am time to sleep.. Tido till i hepi..then bangun..

Eat n watch ai (hokkien show) at 3.30pm.. Then continue watching wadever thats on astro.. Cnbc,bbc,cnn,espn,discovery channel, my favourite aec... Y no wahlaitoi?? cos my mum change to stupid huahee daiii...grrrrr...

When they watch their super ridiculous hokkien drama that i feel like knocking my head to the remote control (especialy the 9.30pm one).. I will actualy read some book.. Finaly when they go to bed.. Ill watch wadever channel that i wan..

Haih..i now dont look forward to retiring... Everyday wake up..sit n think wad to eat for breakfast.. Lunch... Dinner... Supper... Folo them to shopping mall...but alwiz end up buying a roll of newspaper nia..cos i now pengangur..no money...
Cant imagine having to do nothing for the rest of my life...

Haih,work also kenot... Retire also kenot..how la.. The secret is to retire rich..haha...then can noneed stay at home..wakaka...

Where is my induction letter??? postman come postman go...

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Part time job

As some of u might already know, im currently working part time in oyster king midvalley... Juz to cover for festive season...
Gaji: undisclosed...

Life as an ojien selller reminds me of my old sushi king days and working days... Working long hours..sumore raya means super busy... I guess this will be the last time i work as kuli.. After i start working for real,i wonder if condition is better or worse?

long hours
multi-tasking
no time to eat or rest...
Everynight back home feeling tired and can only watch wadever astro replay that u missed and sleep...

Whats the difference between dr n ojien seller? haha..

I actually learn alot of things from this job.. I think i can apply alot in dr life kot..haha..u think its easy to sell ojien? I can actually see the sushi management game that i play come to life..

Have to jaga customer, take order,clear plate..jaga order..make sure order delivered,jaga cashier,ppl wana take fork take spoon n customer wan special dowan cili tambah cili tambah tauge tambah telur... Super multi tasking... Customer wait too long angry lari,haha..reli like in the game.. In game u just need to click n the plate hilang..click cashier money terus masuk..this 1 reeli have to do one..haha..

How isit similar in hospital setting? Teamwork is super important also..everyone got their own role..drinks part side dish part chef part...all need communication... One can only speak chinese one can only speak malay..haha..

N like in cardiac arrest, whoever reach the scene first do resus.. This is whoever take order do drink..haha.. N need one leader to coordinate order..too many leader also luan.. N got check list also..

Now i understand y the aunty sell yongtaufu alwiz scold say sit down first later she come n take order..dun go kepo kepo all wana order how to take la.. N if anyone try to promote ojien to u,just smile to them,dowan say dowan..dun need to action one.. N when other ppl taking order, let them finish their job first..they will attend to u later..u keep asking they also kenot remember...

Now i dun look forward to work already..dun mind rotting at home for awhile more...thanks for the gentle reminder of how working life wud b..ill enjoy my holiday now..

Who wana go jalan???

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Food food food 3

By the time we reach penang, its time for dinner.. B4 that we alas with the famous taufufa that we dapau from ipoh...

n he realli look exactly like in the papers...difficult not to recognise him..

Penang is so called the food haven..so wad to start or where to start?? We decided stg simple..Wantan Mee and Curry mee..on lebuh carvanyon

The wantan here is nice..
But there is another 2 gerai down the road with nicer mee..

this gerai..beside the curry mee gerai..

since its beside curry mee gerai..so currymeekan diri also..


Afterthat,thong sui time...

then supper... Lala and balitung...

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Food food food 2

Our first stop is Ipoh for ayam taugeh... 'nga Choi kai' at their famous Lou Wong in Jalan Yau Tet Shin...of course with the slow google map on our fone, hard to find the place...

Hehe...thankfully a frens cousin brought us there..

we ordered the koay tiau with taugeh n chicken.. Im personally not a big fan of taugeh...its reeli more taugeh than ive eaten in my life,cumulatively...

Afterthat we went to the lou wong confectionary..cos they gave us a 10% discount voucher..hehe..

Off we go to penang...

To be continued...

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Food food food 1...

Woke up at 6am, went to putrajaya for interview with Spa... Followed by the Big 4 processes... SPA- JPA- MMC - MOH... For housemanship registration...Settle all by 12 stg.. Noreens dad nicely brought us to Kajang Satay... While waiting for the offer letter...

yummy...

Afterthat tea time at Beard Papa... That i din getto eat b4 i leave uk..

Dinner at Pasta Zanmai in midvalley...

n supper...

Yes..this is the start of our food trip...

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Mum's creativity

Today is my grandpa's peringatan.. As usual,my parents will cook some food and join venture with my uncle's family for prayers..

The common dishes are bbq chicken n pork, fried bihun,fruits and huat kuih/fatt koh... If you're hokkien,u shud noe what im talking about..

Huat Kuih is a steamed rice cake with smiley cracked top that overflows the cup containing it.. Its a must for chinese prayer as huat symbolises prosperity...

Instead of huat kuih, i saw 3 MUFFINS with fruits...
Cos huat kuih today tutup..so she went to italy bakery bot 3 huat kuih lookalike.. She say ingredients almost the same wad...tepung also...hahhahaaa...

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In search of nyonya kuih

Since my frens decided to come to melaka on a strategik day wednesday, chun chun no jonker walk, no pasar malam nearby...
n requested for nyonya kuih sumore after watching little nyonya...

i had to do some homework b4 they come..sunbian test the food first..haha.. thanks to some food blogger, i found this 'baba charlie' place at tengkera, where theres a variety of nyonya kueh..

my mum recognised her from the tuesday pasar malam at kpg lapan.. normal days the stall is at her house..

they even have her address on the blog: lorong tengkera 2c..slightly off the mosque at tengkera..

As soon as i go in, whoaaa..all the nyonya kuih displayed..whoa..although i alwiz see them in pasar malam, but was never impressed.. now that we go hunting for it, learn to appreciate them more..

Bought some nyonya zhang, my favourite rempah udang, onde onde, kuih talam, n some banana pancake thing..

yummyyy...will try more when the gang comes...

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Promise

I promise to blog tomoro..noo, tomoro sunday family day..i promise to blog on monday!!

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Selamat Pulang to Tanahair

Back to Malaysia for good... wow.. mixed feeling.. abit anxious about what lies ahead...

Cant believe I left UK for good.. Everytime i landed in KLIA with the mentality of goin back in few weeks time.. but this time its different... back!!! howw!!!

Anyhow, I'm sure its not gona be easy but sure thing gona be challenging n excitin!!!

Bye bye UK, HELLO MALAYSIA!!!

now grape-ing for at least 2-3 months b4 start work.. so anything find me..hehe..

will have plenty of time to update my blog..haha

Isle of skye...

So long didn't blog, saving for masa boring in msia later... currently in isle of skye!!

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Graduation

Was busy packing before parents come... after digging my room , found alot of things from my early edinburgh years... It feels so young then... I still have to file that JPA gave us when we first arrive.. wow.. that was 5 years ago.. din noe after 3 times shifting house, I still kept it..

Will I miss this place when I leave later?

Finally:

July 3, 11am...
But weirdly, scotland no topi 1...grr

Dr Lee

Hehe...you may now call me Dr Lee...hahhaaa...

thanks for everyone's support!!

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reward...

If you remember, I have some phobia with planning trips and concert before results...ehm ehm...
But anyhow, I still planned this as my post exam/ result reward for myself... hehe...after pass half oredi go buy camera oredi...

So tomoro will be the day... of both my concert and resultssss... scaryyy... shud I check or shud I wait for after the concert first??

I've already receive all the reward even b4 getting results...isit too much?? hehee..stay tuned for the final episode of my medical school life tomoro!!! if I din post anything, faham faham la k...hehees..

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Finally my new baby 2!!!

Hehe.. some fotos with my sony a200... if only i can take picture of my new baby with my new baby...hahahaa...

in the end still need to use my old camera..haha..for the last time:
I was sleeping..then i heard the door bell!!.. Heard my housemate goin for the door..
No response afterthat.. probably not my parcel la..

Flatemate msn 10 mins later:

X: U still sleep noneed to wait for your camera ar?

Me: har, got come mehh??

X: I dont know I was out...

Me: Harr... (I seriously for 1 second tot i missed it liao.. until...)

X: But my parcel came oredi la..

Ran over to his room n saw...

Hehe... came liao... i think this method of receiving is easier than the long wait for my htc..haha..

Of course the usual me will announce to everyone i see..haha.. some1 even curse that they forget to send the battery... feuh..they did.. but they din sent the memory card!! no stock..grr..

Luckily i have some spare SD card around..hehehe..

Herm.. din even on it yet, do my usual ritual of taking some pictures first..
Actualy my old slr stil not too bad la hor.. still got its function, snap this:

Wahhhh...happyyy...

Wana go read the manual liao.. owiz use sony tak biasa nikon... exam time also not so rajin..haha

Finally...my new baby..

hehe...introducing my new baby...
d5000

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My sister...

Well, I seldom blog about my family if you notice... that's because i keep intouch with them, but not as much as I should.. not cos we are not close.. but just cos i dont have the habit to tell them everything..

I was chatting with my sister today...

Ah Jie: So u finish exam already? Are you coming back Malaysia afterthat?

(Well, I have actually decided to go back Malaysia after grad long ago, since I din apply for job here...)

Me: Yea la.. goin back.. if I pass la..

Ah Jie: Oh..ok.. then I can think of opening my clinic already...

(I was thinking.. hmm..y need me to go back help open clinic ka? or wana hire me?)

Me: Y, open clinic need me to go back oni can ka?

Ah Jie: Nola, cos I set aside some money, incase you want to continue study or pay off the bond ma... If you come back then I can use the money to open clinic lo...

Waaa... Greatest Sister!!!

I'm so touched.. din noe my sister actually had plans for me...

After telling her that I want to go back, she keep asking me repeatedly I dont want to stay ka...

Nola.. love my country too much...

D90 or D5000???

Abit of update on my current status... since i din update blog for quite some time, u can prolly guess that i've finished my exams...

Well, 2/3 of my results are outtt!! n passed that.. now left the final 1/3 nx week.. can grad onot depends on that...

Now back to my dilemma...

Well, the dilemma starts with my sony A200 rosak abit... so I am using that excuse to sell it and get a new camera.. n since i've finished exams, this is when I need my camera most! jalan jalan n when parents come etc...

I memang from last time eye this liao: nikon dee nai tee

But dengar kata its successor coming out soon... july? august? nobody knows..except for those nikon fella... But i need camera now la.. so wait wait not a choice la kot...n I'm so free.. can slowly get used to my new camera first..hehe

But if i get d90 now... after 1 month come out d90s or wadever name I mah amdui... Imagine if i just bought iphone3gs then iphone4 come out... so hmm...Another choice is d90's brother:

Dee Fai thousand
which is very very similar to dee nai tee... but still its not d90... One thing i like about it is the swivel lcd... means I can camwhore as much as I want.. n easier for high angle pics also.. as u noe, i am quite short... Then I have to ask myself:
1) Do i want the inbuild AF motor? erm.. dont have also nvm la.. (check)

2) Do i wana use CLS (creative lighting system) basically wireless flash... erm..now cant afford flash yet... abaikan (check)

3) Do i want a more solid n bigger body with more accessible buttons and controls? herm... i would like the index finger turn turn thing.. but can lupakan la.. (check)

4) Do I want a 3 inch LCD with 920000 pixels resolution? YESSS I WANTTT... (no check)...

How la.. I want the flip LCD.. but i also want the high reso lcd..argh.. n d5k is 100 pds cheaper..
But d90 memang well known as a superb camera laa... but if new d90s come out d90 mah pupus.. hard to find sparepart ka? n if i buy now later d90s come out with the flip lcd... mah sedehh... better i get d5k n sacrifice the lcd... can I??

pls kasi some advice...

Last day!!!

Final lap!!!... After today, I can blog about usual stuff again!!!

erm..hopefully...

I know what i lag...

1st part of the exam done... Well, it was OSCE (the part where u gotto see patients, talk to examiner what you think it is, etc, take a history, explain to patients, etc and prescribe as you would in real life... well basically means you have to talk, which i CANTTT...)

There's still 2 written papers (actually on the computer one) and a viva of all the cases that we've written for 3 years...

But somehow... for me the exam is 90% over... when technically its only 25% over... What i lag??? discipline and motivation!!! I alwiz have this 30 seconds heat which made me cant persist in stg long enuf to see results... Well, unless I am interested... which is still an unknown in the equation of me and medicine...

I don't know how to continue already..hehe... n I'm lazy to think.. n i just saw 2 muscular guy ran past my window half-naked.. hoho...

and this blog post with all words looks boring and nobody's gona read it anyway..hahahahha...
so I dont have to end it well.. nene... next week this timee... hopefully I am still enjoying!!!

Jigsaw Puzzle

Medicine... is like a galaxy of puzzle... Studying now is just like putting the jigsaw puzzle pieces together... Sounds fun at first, but when u really do it.. haih...

If it is like this, I would be very happy...
Or even like this.. is still not too bad...

But..for me, it started with this:

Everything jumbled up!! dont know where to start..
Then i decided to be systematic.. divide it up folo the colour system.. u noe how some parts roughly got the same colours.. put into cardio, respi, GI, endocrine, etc.. ok, easy enuf..

Eh, then some got 2 colours.. some got mixture of 3 colours.. wah.. end up only a few clear cut fit into your colour system.. alot of combinations and inbetweens... blurrrrr

Then u take out all the sides... that also take me like 2 weeks.. cos this is really super huge puzzle.. then feel damn happy, rest for few days..

SOme of the days i found 6 piece that from factory still stuck together one. wah damn happy.. add afew more to it, get 10 piece.. WAHH... yesss.. sense of achievement...

But err... i dont even know where this tiny 10 piece is in the whole picture!!! nvm.. just hold on to it first.. but still damn happy liao..

Then... u find another 10 piece.. then work few more days make another 10 piece...
SHITSSSS... too many 10 piece 10 piece all over..no place to put liao.. put on the floor, put on the chair... better dont get missing oo... then as u fix fix, some get jumbled up again.. argh... the more you fix the more it all got jumbled up.. n u think u see some similar picture some where.. but where??? so many pieces all looks the same.. n all meaningless unless u put them together...

The more u fix, the more u get jumbled up.. cos got no base... and no starting point to start build from...

If only its like this.. u noe exactly what u have to find what u have to read.. got template liao...


But noo... everyday i fix fix also dono where i fix n what i fix.. n the thing is dont know if its definitely correct onot also.. Have to see the big pictureee...

Finally whoa.. if i am like that also i happy liao.. Although got missing piece, but at least i can concentrate on finding that piece, knowing that all the other piece already locked and in place...

But i think once i completed that, i'll notice its a galaxy of jigsaw puzzle.. n what i'm fixing is just a small earth..haih...

Medicine, a new language?

I was taught that there are more than 10,000 terms in medicine... It is easily a new language by itself...

Soo... 3 years of medicine is actually learning how to use the language well..

another 2 years to apply then to clinical setting..

But if english is not your first language, erm... I came across this today:

'' A large bore canula can be invaluable for fast flow..." err... after reading twice, i tak faham the invaluable means not valuable or super valuable...

Inattention means no attention,

infinite means not finite,

intolerant means cant tolerate,

indian means patient from india,

so invaluable should be not valuable rite,

but.. maciam tak betul.. hence google...

Invaluable means : extremely valuable; having value too great to measure;

grrr.. dono la.. non-medical terms also struggle liao..

another one: if patient is exsanguinating...

Exsanguinating: draining blood... exsanguination is also the way to slaughter for halal-ness...

Wiki: Exsanguination is a relatively uncommon and dramatic cause of death in humans

Need to be so dramatic onottt.. just say la if patient is bleeding or bleeding profusely..

Peningggggggggggggggggggggg... if only i read more Enid Blyton book when I was young, instead of the malay version of tiga penyiasat... or mutiara naga...

since someone ask, this is the katun:

6...5...4...3...2...1...

Is it Wednesday or RThursday today???

another 6/5 days to go... BOOMMM!!!

and here I am, eating ice-cream, watching katun...

siao liaooo...

I am a ROBOT

Since I have reached the critical stage or PESS (Pre-Exam Stress Syndrome), there is no medical treatment that could cure me now... therefore I've signed up for an ongoing clinical trial...

the CYBORG 2010 trial..

I am not sure if this could save me, but i am willing to grab any chance of survival.. This Trial requires me to denervate the part of my brain that controls my emotion,entertainment,game fun, etc...

Basically denervate all the parts that distracts me from studying.. I am now left with the basic surviving autonomic system temporarily.. All my periferal needs are switched down to minimal in order to fully perfuse my brain and provides full support for my brain...

My body now bypasses my brain and functions on a microchip with preset routine of eat, go to the toilet and study... I have unlearned all the other skills of playing game, computer skills, talk, laugh...

I also do not need food or sleep for 10 days... facebook, msn, blog, tesco are all not in my dictionary... My brain is only loaded with Medical Dictionary and Oxford Clinical handbook... and whatever book...

I am now MC5138...

A Cyborg fully programmed to STUDY...

I shall not do what I am not programmed to do...

Pre-Exam Stress Syndrome

According to the RedBull Score to access the severity of the Pre-Exam Stress Syndrome (PESS),

Grade 1: (2 - 3 months before finals... )
Occasional realisation that you need to study... (about once a week)
Idealistic plan to start to study

Grade 2: (1-2 months before finals...)
Started decorating table with opened medical books...
Actually start reading 1 page and realise that shits, lots to study...

Grade 3: (Less than 1 month before finals...)
Frequency of panic attacks increase.. but:

''its ok, you still have 1 month...'

(refuse to accept that you have actually slightly less than 1 month)

Grade 4: (3 weeks before exam...)
Working very hard... not sure where you're heading, but just work..just read...
No time to eat no time to sleep...
signs: Tachycardia from caffeine overload and anxiety...
(If patient maintain at this stage throughout, prognosis is good)

but unfortunately some will progress to the next stage:

Grade 5: (2 weeks before exam...)
Intermittent psychosis... some features resembles bipolar.. alternating between:

a) Grandeur delusions - patient now thinks that she knows everything.. especially after finish reading one tiny chapter.. SHe's THE MAN... yes she has time for movie she has time to blog she has time for anything.. anything is POSSIBLE!!!...

b) Depressive mood and self doubt - no no no... dont know.. refuse to know.. have to study more.. no no... might not know.. study also cant remember...

Frequent palpitations and patient might be in atrial fibrillation.. start heparin...

Note: This is a Severe situation.. consult and inform Senior Registrar...

Grade 6: (10 days before exam)
Patient is now exhausted... tired, bradicardia, hypotension...

Feeble studying efforts...

Confusion is common at this stage...

Note: Potential LIFE THREATENING ATTACK- peri-arrest situation... (Transfer to HDU/ICU and monitor 24/7 for learning progress)

If condition worsen, give symptomatic relief and palliative care... contact family members...

nenenenene...jiak ba bo su jo la... i am between stage 5 and 6 kot..hahaa

Olympic mascot...

Truelove and Witt's Criteria...

Since its exam season, I often like to put up some random medical stuff on my MSN nick just so that hopefully by seeing it everytime I will remember them...

Well, who wouldn't remember their MSN nickname that keeps signing in and out for 3-4 days right..

Just few days ago I started to put up this:

'' Truelove and Witts criteria... WAKAKAKAKAKAKA''

Its the criteria to assess the severity of Ulcerative Colitis by the parameters: bowel motions/day, rectal bleeding, temperature at 6am, pulse, haemoglobin, ESR...

1 of my friend asked me earlier... so what is Truelove and Witts criteria???

''errr......''

Shits... it was on my MSN for almost a week!!! how can I not rememberrr!!!!! Now that I've blogged about it, ask me in 3 days see if i still remember... hahaa...

nostalgia

Hmm..should have done that when my iphone was with mee...



See if my desire could do that..haha

Hi, I am a 'Final year medical student''...

Well, since we started out 5th year, I noticed that alot of my coursemates have been using this phrase:

'Hi, my name is bla bla and I'm a FINAL year medical student...'

Well the question is; "ís it?''

Is it really our final year ar??.. If this is not our final year, what are the possible differencial diagnosis? I really admired their confidence...

Time passed so fast, I cant even imagine that this is my final year and my Finals Professional Exam is in 2 weeks and 5 days time... what more if I pass, being a doctor in few months time...

Only last week I start to use:

''I AM a FINAL YEAR MEDICAL STUDENT''...

Simply because I WANT it to be my final year...

I secretly dont mind being a student longer and not be let loose into the 'real world' so soon.. One of our lecturers told us, you spent 5 years in medical school, but you're gona spend another 35 years down the line working.. so whats the hurry??

But there are so many other factors at stake!!

Main thing wud be parentssss... n siblingsss aiming to come for my graduation.. U cant let them come and not graduateee..

ANd all your friends will be graduated by then and I dont want to be left behinddd.. and I can't wait to go back and serve the country!!! skk..skk...

so pls pls pls let me passs...

I noe this is not a time for self doubt.. but everyday i have this fluctuation from super confident and think that i actually know alot.. to shit shit shit...what also dont know... at least once aday I'll have this panic attack....arghhh....If i am above 55 and fat and i smoke and drink and have a family history, I would have had a heart attack now...

Relapse 2

I have noticed this relapse-remissin-relapse pattern in my this disease..

Pathological-online-buying due to stress

aka

pMs - (Penyakit Membeli Masa Stress/Study)

I you remember correctly, my last presentation was January last year: Relapse

I managed to be in remission for quite some time.. mayb with some minor exacerbation like my PL 30 earphone
that I really NEED at that time...

Erm..and not forgetting the Edifier:

That I seriously need also laaa...

I noticed something different this time.. its getting worst i think.. with early morning panic attacks and feeling of impending DOOM... with paroxysmal stress..

Well.. then come the incident of lost iphone in a cafe... How often can that happen rite.. is that really whats precipitating the disease again?? Am I reeli that sad that I lost my phone? or secretly I am smiling inside.. cos that meansssssss 'NEW PHONE ' for meeeee...


Well ofcourse nobody noticed the signs n symptoms well enough.. They should have known that I would be stressed about my finals.. but it wasn't picked up fast enough.. desire cant be undone now.. (anyway its a good buy..haha)

Then it became chronic.. I can hide it anymore.. there are so many things I '' Really NEED''...

Light not bright enough.... I really need a table lamp to study laa...

Camera lens stg wrong... instead of repairing it, '' I reeli need a new camera..." But I seriously need la..hahahaaa..

Currently sane enough to resist temptation... waiting for the successor... but dont know how long more can I stay sane... The desire is currently able to supress my symptoms for the time being..

N now my earphone also stg wrong already... The different subtype of PMS is pathological- survey- for things also.. be it things I want to buy or things other people want to buy... grrrr...

Even this:
Can you see the pattern of the syndrome now?? Everything has to be ONLINE!!!.. buying stuff off the shop doesnt not give me the same effect...

And hopefully it doesn't progress into pathological blogging and pathological eating..
FINALSSS!!!!!!!

My Desire...

After 2 days being with her... I grew to love her... This is the feeling that I never had before.. how could she be so perfect for me?? I cant get enough of her.. right now I am spending most of my time with her, I cant even take my eyes off her...


Although there are times that she reminded me of iPhone, but.. its just the keyboard layout.. I guess I will soon learn to get used to it.. n she is still quite weak now.. I guess I want to spend time with her so much she gets tired easily.. Everyday i meet my friend, I feel so proud to show her to them.. I want to tell them all about her!!!

I guess well, I am in love..

Will you go back with your ex gf?

Before u on with her, every1 else ask you not to be so stupid.. she's just a prettyface.. rotten inside 1.. so fragile sumore.. she'll control your everymove everything also have to get her permission.. She is the special one.. she doesn't like you mixing with other friends.. u can only mix with her friends...she forces you to use iTunes..can't even use wmp... what a gf.. once u want to send picture via bluetooth to another girl, she doesn't allow!!! only can bluetooth with her!!!

But still... you love her so so much.. the moment you see her, u fell in love with her instantly.. she's so so pretty.. you have not seen any other girl as pretty as her...

Her skin is so smooth.. u like to swipe swipe her skin... She responded to you as if she can read your mind.. and she is so 'friendly' too.. so easy to get along with.. even your 3 year old nephew likes her...

U became blinded by love...you want to be with her 24/7.. u became addicted to her.. you can spend hours with her just doing nothing... its so nice to take her out just to see her..see what she has to say... even when she doesn't ask you to... you want to explore every part of her.. you want to buy everything for her.. clothes, jewelleries, whatever in the market thats compatible with her... Few times she fell while walking, you were so so saddd.. you even bought her protective clothing.. don't want her to scratch her prettyface...everything you do you think of her, think for her..

Soon you are so used to her that you can tolerate all her weakness... all the crap... you think that you are gona be with her forever... even if she changed for better or worse, u r gona stick to her forever.. you can't imagine yourself downgrading yourself to other ugly girls with 'black' skin and lots of pimples on the face...skk.skk..

But one day... she just gone missing... missing without a word.. a week b4 valentines day...you are convinced that some other guy had stolen her from you... arghhh... your heart was crushed..how come? why now?? you have it all planned for valentines..cant she just wait till after that?? whyyyyyyy??? you have so many other problems.. the last you want is your gf to dump you... You can't eat.. you can't sleep... you can't do anything without seeing her... you keep seeing her things around you... her hairdryer, her usb cable, her clothes, her battery charger... all kenot use liaoo...

When you are with friends, you are fine.. but when they are not around, you think of her again... (reeli dono wad to do while waiting for fren lei.. normally keluarkan iphone 1..grrr end up pandang ceiling...) you don't know how dependent you are on her until u lost her... damnn.. I still miss herr!!! miss her calculating skills, miss her voice... still kept a foto of her in my wallet:
Once, you met her on the streets, you felt like you fell in love with her all over again... then you saw another guy holding her hands.. swiping her.. you got so jealousss.. she's not yours anymoreee...arrrrrrr... its time to let go...

After awhile, comes another girl...cute and exciting... not as pretty as ur ex-gf, but steady.. she let you do whatever you want, as long as you are happy... she doesn't tie you down to her.. she's so understanding.. so nice.. everything about her is good.. you so far din find any weakness yet... but still.. have you gotten over your ex-gf? you are not sure.. is she the rebound gf???

You hear from a friend that she has broken up with that guy and might be back in 2 months time... but you have just started to fall for this new girl... is looks really that important? will you dump her and wait for your ex-gf to come back? but afterall, she was the one who left you in the first place..isit worth it?

Sometimes in life, it doesn't matter how much you love a person.. being with it once is enough.. why not give yourself a chance, try stg new.. stg exciting rather than go back to the same old gf.. so many 'SMART' and pretty girls out there...for what you know, u might learn to love your new gf more.. your new gf might not be as pretty, but I am sure she has good character.. and cheaper to maintain..haha.. noneed to wait wait.. tarik harga tarik harga..

After much considering, I've decided today to on with the new girl... so I went and look for her everywhere... but can't find her!!! (babi.. all kedai out of stock... for 3 pay as you go.. orange network ada but got branding.. voda also no stock.. cpw mahals.. arghhh)...

Am I too late? did she on with some1 else already??

Finally I found her!! standing infront of the church... hehe..but its her friend's wedding..not hers... so I told her I love her.. and I want to make her mineee...

and she is now MINEEEEE!!!!!!! My Desire tercinta...

If only choosing gf like choosing hp.. if i tak suka can still jual and beli iphone..hahaa.. sakit is wallet, not hati...

This is where...

This is where...
It happened... (a cosy cafe on Brick Lane...)

Someone noticed me even as I walk in...

too happy to be back to civilization.. too relaxed.. i thought that... i am finally safe...

After a simple meal at the nearby simple malaysian restaurant Jasmine Kitchen,

where the 'Penang Laksa'

is actually not 'penang laksa'...

and the 'penang chicken rice'...

is actualy not THE Penang Chicken Rice...
(Its plain rice with chicken and oyster sauce.. n broccoli.. )

and the baked potato with cheese...

well, is baked potato with cheese...

But still sedap la.. reasonable price and fast.. thats her concept.. n the owner is from Penang herself!!..

We were looking for a nice and relaxed place for our usual afternoon tea.. after scoping few coffee shops, we came to this 1, so called recommended cos its so chilled...

Yeah, we all agreed... music was great, sofa was comfortable.. carrot cake was good.. coffee was good...

I thought that the lights were too dim...

Probably easier for some ppl to be in action... Everything was great up till...

huhuhu... my baby phone got stolen.. right here.. maybe as this picture is taken.. din even realise until we were about to leave.. The DJ was very unhelpful but one of the waiter was very nice to help us look for it under the chairs etc.. but deep inside I knew that its bye forever...

Still in iPhone withdrawal.. probably looking for a rebound phone..